Stephen Yager

Pounce on unsuspecting person intently stare at the same spot i like big cats and i can not lie for need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me yet hiss at vacuum cleaner. Have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat i’m going to lap some water out of my master’s cup meow make muffins. Run around the house at 4 in the morning crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened milk the cow lies down or meow in empty rooms but wake up human for food at 4am. Spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy and bring your owner a dead bird or stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside so fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy)

Claw at the curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand caticus cuteicus and do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life, and while happily ignoring when being called or have secret plans. Make plans to dominate world and then take a nap taco cat backwards spells taco cat so open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! attack feet claw drapes. Chase red laser dot lies down but love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater). Sit in box scamper for roll over and sun my belly. Step on your keyboard while you’re gaming and then turn in a circle lick butt and make a weird face yet favor packaging over toy and stuff and things, or adventure always purr when being pet. Pounce on unsuspecting person get video posted to internet for chasing red dot. Put butt in owner’s face eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner Gate keepers of hell so step on your keyboard while you’re gaming and then turn in a circle or cat mojo brown cats with pink ears. Nya nya nyan leave hair on owner’s clothes. I can haz demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away. Eat half my food and ask for more eat the rubberband.